How Can I Start Dating Again?

If you are single again, after being in a long term relationship, then brace yourself, because the dating game has changed so much these past few years. Technology has taken over, and the way people meet a potential partner these days, may be totally different from the way you remember it.

Are you ready?

As soon as you are single again, you will find friends and relatives pushing you to go out there, and find someone to date. Maybe, this is their way of cheering you up, or they are probably hoping that you will find someone who will distract you from your recent break up.

Don’t give in to the pressure. A break up is not something you can get over from right away. Depending on how long you’ve been with your ex, and how deep the relationship was, a full emotional recovery could take some time. It could take a week, a month, or even years. But only you can really tell if you are ready to open up to the possibility of a new relationship.

Get Your Confidence back

First things first. You can not go asking people out, or accept any invitation to go on a date, if you still feel broken and empty inside. A break up can really ruin a person’s confidence. You have to get that back first, before you even think about going out on a date again.

Once you are done crying in your PJs, while eating a tub of ice cream, stand in front of a mirror, and take a look at yourself. This may be the very first time you would actually see your true self again, after a very long time. You will notice that some things have changed. You may see that you have gained a few pounds. You may see grey hairs on your head, or some wrinkles on your face. That person in the mirror may be someone you no longer recognize. And that’s okay.

Sometimes, when people get too comfortable with their long term relationships, they tend to relax, and let themselves go. Do not blame yourself for this. Just acknowledge, and accept these flaws, then decide to do something about them.

Your emotions may not be easy to fix, in the first few months from your break up. But, working on enhancing your appearance can help distract you from the pain. And, looking good would definitely help boost your confidence.

Give this a try. Start working out, and get that body back into shape. Go for a facial. Get your hair styled. Buy new clothes. Looking good will make you feel good about yourself. But, remember, do not do this to impress anyone (just yet). Do this for yourself. Learn to appreciate what you still have. Before anyone else can love you, you have to learn to love who you are first.

Have Fun Being Single

It may take some time for it to sink in, that you are no longer part of a pair. You learn to do things by yourself again, and that’s part of your getting over the pain. Instead of dwelling into the sadness of being alone, learn to embrace your new found freedom. You can now do things you have not been able to do when you were in a relationship. You can have things in your house the way you want them to be. You can talk to anyone, without fear of someone getting jealous. You can go on a trip by yourself, and have all the me-time you need. Soon, you will realize that being alone isn’t so bad after all. Actually, many people would advice you to stay single, because it is more practical, but that’s really up to you.

Heal Your Heart

As soon as you find yourself accepting this new phase in your life, look to the future with hope. Understand that some relationships fail. It happens, and maybe, it’s for the best. You may need time for your heart to heal, and for your mind to forget. Take all the time you need. Just remember, that you are still capable of love, and you deserve to be loved too. Do not close your doors, and never lose faith in love. Time heals all wounds. You will know when you are ready.

What are you Looking for?

Once you’ve decided that you want to get back out there, be smarter, and learn from your past. Make it clear to yourself of what you are looking for. If you just want to go out, have fun, and meet new people, then go take every chance there is. Allow your friends to set up a date for you. Go on blind dates. Meet up with someone you found online. Who knows? You may meet someone fun and interesting.

But, if you do not want to waste your time fooling around, and if you are hoping to find someone worth taking seriously, then you may want to sit down, and think about the kind of person you want to ask out. Set your standards, and only go out with the ones who are worth the time.

Modern Dating

Lucky for you, dating has never been more convenient. As I’ve said earlier, technology has totally changed the dating game. With a simple app or website, you can find people that fit your age group, and preferences. If you are not familiar to this kind of dating method, then it’s time you leaned how to do it. Do not be afraid to try new things, and be open to change.

Some say, old-school dating is dead, and the value of face to face interactions have been replaced by sexting and screen swiping. But, in my opinion, a human connection is still a connection, whether it be physical or virtual. Conversations, and chemistry between two people can just be as deep either way. Take the chance and give it a try. What have you got to lose?

Timing is Everything

Sometimes, what stops us from starting over is our fear of getting hurt again. We become afraid that things may end up the way our last relationship did. But, being afraid will not get you anywhere. If you give in, you will stay trapped in the past. And, believe me, that is not where you want to be.

There is no guarantee how each date would end up to be. There is no guarantee for anyone, when it comes to finding love. But, life is too short to be afraid of taking risks. The only sure thing about love, is that it hurts. Because, the only people who can truly hurt you, are the ones you care about the most.

The only way to find out if a person is worth this risk, is if you give him or her a chance. If you find someone that makes you happy to be who you are, then why would you want to be anywhere else? Never pass up the opportunity to be with someone, who may be the right one for you. Trust that the right person will come at the right time. You just have to be there when it happens.


By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo. Posted on September 19th, 2018.