Should You Date A Coworker? (Office Dating)
Traditional wisdom warns us not to mix business and pleasure. But
since we spend so much time at the office, it is only natural to
become attracted to a coworker. The key before acting on this attraction
is to think very carefully about the possible consequences of an office
romance gone bad. Are you willing to risk discomfort at your job if a
relationship does not work out? In some cases, one or both of you might
end up quitting the company. If you love your job and really do not want
to see it end, consider not dating your colleagues under any circumstances.
Make sure you really like the person before attempting to mix work and romance.
Before sexual harassment laws, it was a lot easier to flirt with a coworker.
These days, you should first be absolutely sure your advances are welcomed.
If you are a man or in a position of authority, you really must cautiously
proceed when making any kind of romantic overtures. Here are some rather
harmless ways to let you co-worker know you are interested in more than a
work relationship.
- Casually ask if he would like to go to lunch with you. If he makes an
excuse twice, stop asking and wait for him to make the next move.
- If you've already done the lunch hour "date", then suggest getting
together for coffee or a drink after work. If she stalls around the idea t
wice, then you need to back off for now. - Always be friendly and ask questions such as, "How was your weekend?" Make him feel special.
Now, suppose you landed a date with the office catch and you're both moving
into the romance zone? You must use discretion or risk alienating your coworkers.
Do not discuss your relationship with anyone else at work, especially in the early
stages. Depending on your company's policy, you might need to disclose it to your
boss at some point. Assure your supervisor that your romance will not impact your
ability to perform your work duties.
Act very professionally at work. Resist the urge to sneak a kiss, hold hands or
gaze lovingly into each other's eyes. Likewise, do not glare at the female
colleague who flirts with your sweetie.
Do not send intimate messages through e-mail or inter-office chat while at work.
Your company may monitor Internet and intranet usage much more closely than you
would ever think was possible. Also, you're better off keeping your romance off
of social media networks such as Facebook and Twitter. After all, you probably
have at least one colleague or associate of a colleague on your friends list.
Despite your best efforts, your colleagues eventually will realize you plus your
coworker equals a couple. When this happens, do not make a big deal out of it.
Continue working with everyone as if nothing has changed. Usually, adopting this
attitude will squelch any potential personality conflicts. Your colleagues want
to make sure no one is being favored in the workplace and it is your responsibility
to act as maturely as possible.
By Stephanie Mojica. Posted on July 18th 2012.
