He's nice, handsome, responsible, available and....divorced? Hmmm. That last description of a guy usually gets mixed reactions from girls who may be interested in him. The conservative ones would think twice before going out with him at all. The modern liberated woman would be excited, challenged and would be eager to learn more about him. She would definitely go out with him again and again. Today's society may have evolved to accepting this idea since divorce ratings have grown through the years. But it is undeniable that there are pros and cons in dating a divorced guy. So here are some tips to cope with this kind of situation.
Just because he is divorced doesn't mean there are limitations or changes you have to make in your dating habits. He is just an ordinary guy who happens to have gotten off a bad relationship. Of course there are issues like, "Will he ever want to get married again?" or having to deal with the ex wife and kids, but it all boils down to how well you handle your relationship.
Remember that your divorced man has been through some rough times with his ex wife. Be understanding enough and don't go being a nag. Always choose to stay positive and supportive in every situation. If he has a fault that isn't that big a fuzz, just let it go. Just think of the stressful argument that may follow. Always ask yourself "Is it worth fighting about?" Most of the time, you will realize that the things that upset you are petty and would rather be left alone.
A divorced guy may have a negative notion for the word marriage for some time, even if he is already with you. Do not scare him off by talking about how much you want to get married to him. You should avoid mentioning the "M" word and when he is ready and he sees you to be the one he wants to grow old with, then it would naturally come from him at the right time.
There is surely some traits of his ex wife that made him leave her. She may have been a nag, got too busy or got ugly (sorry for the term). Through time, wives get to be reckless with words and push their husbands away with their sharp tongues. Some women may have focused too much on work or their children that they have neglected their husband's needs. Of course, because of aging and lack of time to beautify themselves, wives tend to either gain weight or age faster than men. These are the scenarios you have to avoid. Be like a mistress to him. Sweet, sexy and always available. Make him your top priority if you truly love him. Baby him a little. Also, be smart enough to stay sexy and desirable all the time.
Another important tip is to keep your cool. It is inevitable that one day you may have to meet face to face with the ex wife. There some divorced men who stay friends with their ex. Be secured enough to know where you stand. Trust your lover and never accuse him, especially if you have no proof. Another thing you have to deal with is if your divorced guy has children. He will need to spend time with them too. And for sure, you will have to spend time with them as well.
If you love your man, you have to love everything in his life. And if he has kids, you have to start getting to know them and
like them. Love them as your own. If you plan to make your relationship last for a lifetime, start building your family as the
potential step mother.
By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.
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