Anyone who enters a committed relationship expects to be their partner's one and only love. Monogamy is supposed to be part of the deal when you get into a serious relationship. But with this generation where open relationships and divorce have become acceptable, people begin to question if monogamy actually works. Are we really meant to be with just one person for the rest of our lives?
In many marriages, monogamy seems to mean having a monotonous relationship too. Being with the same person for many years becomes boring and dull because they have both become too comfortable with each other that they have forgotten the romance side of their relationship. When one or both parties get neglected, that is when the temptation to cheat begins.
Monogamy can work in long term relationships if both parties give time to be intimate with each other. They need to remember their role as a lover, even if being a father, a mother and a worker seem to dominate their life. You can be happy with just one person if you always remind yourself of why you chose that one person to be with in the first place.
Trust is a big issue with open relationships. Even if couples agree to allow each other to be with other people, they are putting their relationship at risk in terms of trust. How can you fully depend on someone who makes you feel inadequate because he or she needs to be with someone else to be completely happy? To be truly happy in a relationship, both parties should feel safe and secure. Monogamy is not easy and people make mistakes. But one very important ingredient to a happy and lasting relationship is trust. It is like glass that once it is broken, it can never be truly restored. To choose to be faithful is to choose to never want your partner to doubt you. In return, you should choose to trust unconditionally. Yes, there is the risk of getting hurt, but what will happen will happen. That's all part of the game of love.
Many lovers have gone through rough times. One of you may have been unfaithful at one time or another. But it all boils down to the understanding and the love for each other for you to survive obstacles like that. Some indecretions are not meant to hurt you. They just happen and sometimes all it took was one wrong decision of not walking away from the temptation to ruin everything.
I still believe that monogamy can work for couples who are willing to give it a chance. It is not easy, especially with our liberated times. Temptation is just out there and you both may make mistakes as you try hard to be true to each other. But for someone who loves, he or she will be willing to forgive and give a second chance to a lover who promised to be loyal forever.
By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.
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