I'm Afraid of Being Cheated on Again

The worst thing your partner can do, is to cheat on you. When trust is broken in a relationship, it makes you wonder if you will ever be able to trust anyone again. Something like this could really break your spirit. You become suspicious, and you may find it hard to believe it, when someone promises to never hurt you. Your previous relationship may be over, but the fear of being cheated on stays with you, even if you have moved on to a new one. The question is, how do you get over this fear? as I'm Afraid of Being Cheated on Again...

It's Normal to be Afraid

Fear is a very powerful emotion. It's our natural reaction whenever we sense danger, or when see something (or someone) that has hurt us in the past. It's perfectly normal to be afraid. But if this fear hinders you from moving forward and having a healthy relationship with someone else, then something has to be done. Acknowledge the presence of the fear, but be mindful of the damage it can do to you and your present relationship, if you allow it to control you.

Learn From the past

Looking back to your past experience is painful, and most people would choose to just try and forget what happened. But the truth is, unless you face the facts and reflect on the issues that brought about the conflict, you will never get over the pain and your fear. Also, you might just end up repeating the same mistakes you did before. I'm not saying that the cheating was entirely your fault. But, if you realize that you've had some fault as well, learn from your mistakes, and try to change some things that can make your present relationship a better one.

Negativity Hurts You

It's understandable that you may still be feeling anger, sadness and all the other negative emotions that come with the experience of being cheated on. These emotions don't go away that easily. But, try not to dwell on them too much. These negative emotions hurt you, and could also hurt your future relationships. Energy wasted on these negative emotions won't do you any good, nor does it affect your ex in any way at all. Right? So, It's best to distract yourself with activities and thoughts that make you happy. Surround yourself with positive and supportive people.

Forgiveness

To follow the rule, “love your enemies” Is not an easy thing to do. But to be able to get the peace of mind that you need in your life, you have to try to forgive those who hurt you. I believe in the Forgiving someone who has broken your trust is not easy. But it is a must, so you can heal sooner, and be able to learn how to trust other people again. It will take time to get over the anger, but keeping distance for a while, from the one who hurt you can help you ease the emotional pain, and allow you to think clearer. Whether or not, you choose to be with him or her again, after you've forgiven, learn from it and be wiser. You should try not to dwell on how it happened, but try to remember why it happened. Also, learn to forgive yourself. Self blame will do you no good. Golden rule, “Do not do Unto others what you don't want them to do unto to you.” Leave everything to karma. Everyone gets what they deserve, eventually.

Love Yourself

Everything happens for a reason. A broken heart could be a chance for you to find yourself again. No one should make you feel that you are not good enough. Take the time to be alone and take care of your needs. You have to learn to love yourself again, before you can give any to someone else. Know your worth and never settle for second best. You are worthy of love, respect and loyalty. Anyone who treats you any less does not deserve you.

Let It Out

It's not healthy keeping to yourself, all the emotions and thoughts that come after being hurt with infidelity. You need to have someone to talk to, someone who will listen without judgement. Do not be afraid to reach out for help. Because, just talking about how you feel can help ease the pain. If you find it hard to speak up, write it down. Keep a journal of your thoughts. And you will find that, in time, you will be thinking clearer, and you will feel lighter inside.

Trust your instincts

If you've had a past experience of being with a cheater, you're probably aware of the signs of when a person is keeping something from you. Trust your instincts. If something is bothering you, tell your partner about it. But be sure to do it in a calm and mature way. Remember, you have no proof that something is wrong, you just have a feeling. If your partner really loves you, he or she would do something to make you feel better.

Check your Insecurities

It's a big blow to your confidence when someone cheats on you. You may start to think that other people are better than you, or that you are not good enough. Stop those thoughts. For the right person, you are enough. We all have our insecurities. If you are insecure about something physical, then do something to enhance how you look. If it's skill or talent, then focus on your strengths. Do not try to do things that you are not meant to do. Keep learning and improving yourself and gain back the confidence you need.

Be Careful who to trust

Some people are more trustworthy than others. If you want a relationship that is based on love, respect, and trust, then choose to be with someone who values these virtues. Be with someone you can talk to, and trust with your secrets. He or she should respect your boundaries, and should be sensitive to your needs.

Avoid the cheat

Avoid getting involved with people who are vain and selfish. And most importantly, avoid someone who has had a history of cheating, because if that person has done it before, then he or she could do it again. Of course, there are also stories of some people who used to cheat go and turn a new leaf. But the possibility of them doing you wrong will always be there. And that is the risk you have to take, if you date someone with that kind of history.

It Happens

When you choose to love someone, There is always that risk, that you could end up being heart broken. But to give in to the feeling of being afraid of getting hurt, could cause you to become paranoid and jealous all the time. This is not healthy for a relationship, especially if you constantly compare your new love, with the one who hurt you in the past. Accept the fact that it could happen again. But, there is also that chance that you may have found someone who is honest and loyal. You don't want to ruin that, just because you're too hung up about your past.

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.