Love in Black and White

One thing about love is, we cannot choose who we will fall for. It goes beyond time or space. It goes beyond age and even race. And for those who fall for someone of another colour or ethnicity, I think it goes without saying that these kinds of relationships would be going through a lot more difficulties than the regular couples we know. Here are some tips on how to make interracial love work.

Accept the Difference

When you love someone, you have to accept everything about the person. You accept all of his or her bad traits along with all the good traits you like. For interracial lovers, acceptance includes the traits, customs and habits that you may not understand or even like at first. At the beginning of the relationship, ask yourself "Can I tolerate these bad traits?" If the answer is no, then you better think twice before moving on with your relationship. But if you answer yes, then you have more work to do.

Educate your partner

Now that you acknowledge the differences, you have to talk to your lover and begin introducing your culture to him. If there are traits, habits or norms that may make him uncomfortable, be sure to talk and walk him or her through it. The more you expose your partner to your culture, the more he or she will be comfortable with the differences.

Research on Culture

As soon as you accept the differences you have, the next step is for you to learn new things. You are lucky to be in the digital age where you can Google everything you need to know. First of all, learn about the country your lover came from. Do a research on the culture, religion, food, customs and everything that may seem to be important to your lover. The more you understand the easier for you to adjust and accept your differences. This will lessen the chances of conflicts between the two of you. Trust me; you have to be very compatible with your mate, because that is the least of your problems.

Friends and Family

A couple is never alone in the world. Eventually, you will have to meet the friends and family of your lover. Now that you know their traditions, culture and every detail about them, you will have to deal with a much bigger task. And that is facing the possible rejection or indifference from them. You can't expect your family or your lover's family to accept an interracial relationship right away. Although many countries have warmed up to the idea, there are still a few cultures that do not like interracial love. Give it time and most importantly, keep your cool. Remember, you have to love the people your partner loves too.

Have a Support Group

Being friends with other interracial couples would help a lot in coping with the situation. There are many support groups you may join. Here you can hear about the struggles of other interracial couples and know how they overcame them. This way, you can get advice from those who've been there and done that.

Know what matters most

After all that is said and done, even if all things don't fall into place do not lose focus. Even if it seems like a "You and me against the world" kind of love, you of all people should know what matters most, and that is your love for one another that makes you want to be together.

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.

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