Stuck In The Friendzone

"How can I tell you that I love you....that I love you...I love you." Everybody knows that song and once in your life you must have sung that secretly to someone you have fallen for. We cannot choose who we will fall in love with. It just happens. But when you fall in love with a friend you've known for a long time, then you get stuck in the friendzone. You are torn between telling him or her how you feel and risking your valuable friendship; or keeping your feelings to yourself forever so you don't lose the person you care about the most...even if it means you will end up as just friends.

What is the Friendzone?

Friendzone is a recent term used for the situation where someone falls in love with a friend who sees him or her as "just a friend. " Many have said that there is no such thing as platonic love. A man and a woman cannot be "just friends" forever. There will always come a time when one of them or both will find themselves thinking, "What if we fall in love?" or "What if we end up together?" Of course, there are some cases when friends turn out to become lovers eventually and these are usually the "happily ever after" we all wish to happen. But for the many people, who fall for their friend and get rejected, turned down or never had the guts to tell...there is the friendzone.

Am I in the Friendzone?

It's easy to tell if you are in the friendzone. Men and women act differently in front of people they are attracted to, when compared to when they are in front of people they consider as a close friend only.

You are in a friendzone with a man when:

• He does not make an effort to dress nicely when he is with you
• He would point at other beautiful women and tell you what he thinks of them.
• He would ask you for advice about what to wear on his date tonight.
• He fixes you up on a date with someone he knows.
• He asks you to help him get another woman's phone number

You are in a friendzone with a woman when:

• She does not make an effort to look pretty for you
• She cries on your shoulder over her ex boyfriend
• She talks about her dates comfortably with you
• She asks you to set her up on a date with someone you know
• She looks at other men when she is with you

To tell or not to tell

Now that you've realized that you are stuck in the friendzone, the question is...."Do I tell him or her how I feel?" Before doing anything drastic, you have to foresee what results may arise from your actions. Somehow, being a friend makes you predict the possible reaction of the person you are to reveal these strong feelings to. It can only go three ways:

1. Your friend smiles and says sorry I only like you as a friend
2. Your friend gets angry, walks out on you and never speaks to you again
3. Your friend hugs you and says "I feel the same way too!" and you end up as lovers

Lastly, before telling your friend how you feel, it is best to asses just how true the love you are feeling for that person. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life together with that person? Can you live with all his or her flaws and faults? Of course, the final and ultimate question is....can you live without that person in your life?

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.