The One That Got Away

Just like Katy Perry's song "The One That Got Away", each of us has a vivid memory of someone we used to love. Although by now you must be certain that you and that person can never be a couple, either because he or she is already involved with someone else or vice versa; there are still times that your mind drifts off to that moment when you were on that romantic carnival ride where you held hands. Sometimes in your dream you are taken back to the moment of that gentle stolen kiss that will never happen again. Then you wake up cursing "What the....?" and try to shake it off.

Thoughts like these are often kept to oneself. But why do you think these thoughts somehow creep back into our subconscious even if we put them off to be part of a forgotten past? Why do you still think of that other person when you are already happy and in love with someone else?

Well, let's face it. We all want adventure in our lives. Everyone wants to succeed. Just like when we play video games, whenever we lose in a certain level, we do not want to stop until we finally get through it. For a video game, there is always a reset button where we can get a chance to redo the level and undo some mistakes we've done which made us lose the first time. Unfortunately, in real life, there is no reset button. We have to live with the consequences of our every action. There are mistakes that we simply cannot undo. There are some relationships that time can no longer mend. And that person from the past somehow reminds you of something that you have failed in and somehow there is that part of you that would look back to what could've been.

By nature too, we humans are said to be polygamous. It's not that we intend to cheat on our current lover, but sometimes when things get too monotonous, our minds drift off to the "What if" mode, and brings us to the moments that we shared with someone else. Remembering your ex somehow feels like cheating and gives you a sense of guilt. Somehow this guilt gives a sense of excitement and unconventionally adds spice to a relationship.

No one would admit it out loud, but in a series of interviews done by a group of psychology students, both men and women still think about their ex lovers secretly even when they are already in a current relationship. This is said to be harmless, unless the person makes an effort to contact the ex lover or go beyond his or her imagination.

Is it right to tell your current love about your thoughts? Well, that would depend on the level of maturity the two of you have. If your lover is the jealous type, I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself and assure your lover of your fidelity. But if your lover is open minded and trusts you, then its okay to talk about these thoughts. He or she may even share her "imaginary cheats" with you too. You two just have to accept that these thoughts are normal, not to be taken seriously and would not go away.

An honest relationship is always the best one to have. If you can talk about these things then you are lucky. Who knows, you might find a new way to spice up your relationship.... some role playing perhaps? Use your imagination.

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.