Dating Tips for the Single Parent

Being a single parent does not mean, you have given up your chances of finding love and happiness. Yes, you have been hurt before or probably lost someone in your past, but does that mean you have to live a celibate life? Do you really want to give up your dating shoes and stick to your parent boots forever?

We all know, raising a child alone is hard work. Many changes happened to your life as soon as you became a parent. There were sacrifices that needed to be done for the sake of your child or children. But the fact of the matter is that, children grow up to become adults. They will eventually leave and build a life of their own. You will be on your own again and by then you would be wondering why you ended up alone. Here are ways on how a single parent can get back into dating game. First thing's first...

Get out of the house!

You heard that right. My advice is simple. Give yourself some time alone with the world. At least one day a week, leave the kids with your parents or a baby sitter and just go out to have some fun; go to a party, a cafe or restaurant that you like, go to seminars or social gatherings that you enjoy. It doesn't have to be with someone else right away. The first person you have to take out on a date first is yourself. Try to recall the things that you like personally when you were single, because as a parent we tend to set our own choices aside to adjust to the needs of our kids. Being alone makes you see the things you do just because of the kids and the things you do that you do because you actually like to do them. I call this the un-numbing experience. As you get in touch with your simple pleasures again, you now feel and see the things that you actually still need in your life, like a hobby, a social life and most importantly...inspiration. Now that you know this, you are ready for the next step....

Make Friends!

You do not need to go into a serious relationship right away. We both know that jumping into a romantic relationship right away could just end up in disaster. You should start with opening yourself up to the option of enjoying the company of another person. Socialize, smile and don't be afraid to talk to people. Being a single parent has probably put you under the microscope and you may have felt judged many times on why your family is broken. You may still feel a bit of bitterness from your past relationship or relationships, and this is what hinders you from meeting new people. Remember, not everyone is like your ex; don't judge others by your "Ex's" standards or attitude. Give yourself a break and give other people a chance to be your friend. If you don't like the person, it is always easier to "un-friend" a person than to deal with a break-up, right? So go out and date. Have fun and....

Just do it!

It's not what you are thinking! All I am saying is that you should free yourself from the scrutiny of the public eye. As long as you know that you are not doing anything wrong and no one is getting hurt, go on and do the things that will make you happy. As I've said, just do it. Live, laugh, dance, eat and offer a smile to those you meet. You may not find love right away, but you will make the world around you a happier place thus giving you simple joys as well. Remember the saying "Smile and the world smiles with you?" It's not just a saying, it actually works. It works for me, at least.

Look yourself in the mirror and smile. Don't just smile with your face, it should come from inside. Think of your "favourite things" (yes, like Mary Poppins), and the smile will come naturally; besides, the world around you deserves nothing more than...

The Truth

Most single parents are ashamed to say that they are so on a first date or even on a first meeting. But to tell you frankly, if a person is not willing to date you because you have a child, do you think he or she would change his mind eventually?

Casually it is better to mention that you are a single parent whenever someone asks you out. If you see a twitch or gesture of rejection (no matter how hard they try, you can see it in their faces) then walk away. It is better to date people who are open to this kind of relationship. People who do not accept these terms are better off with someone else and you too deserve someone who accepts you and all the things in your life. There are people who are more open minded and are more open to the option of dating a single parent. In your situation, you need someone mature and understanding; besides, eventually if things go well, you will have to introduce him or her to your child.

Talk to your child

Although by now we have gotten the single person out of the box again, never separate the fact that your child is involved in your decision to date again. Communicating your feelings to your child would help him or her understand the situation. Of course, adjust your manner of speaking in a way that the child would understand. An approval from the child does wonders for your confidence as well. But of course, always remember....

Don't fall too soon

Lastly, as you meet people and go on a date, consider this as your second chance in life... or shall we say, love-life. Try to remember the things you've done wrong in the past and try hard not to repeat them this time around. It's like having a sequel to your love life right? It's just that your co-star has been recast. Ha ha. But kidding aside, single parents tend to easily "fall in love," so they think. It must be due to the loneliness that turns to neediness. Take it slow and don't fall too soon.

Since this is your chance to make it right, take it slow and consider all your options. Remember, great things come to those who wait. Who knows? This time around, you might just find your soul mate.

By Sheila Noreen Lopez - Gamo.